Baby?? Who me, NEVER! I'm never having one!

I am not one of those who gushes over small babies, I'm not sure if that makes me inhuman, twisted or just slain psycho. I just don't get it, I don't feel the so called warm fuzzy feeling at the sight of babies. And Well if I'm psycho I don't know what my husband will get termed considering he thinks babies are poop and puke machines and no he's even more uncomfortable than me in their presence.

Jab they met

She met him after eight months and frankly nothing felt out of place really :) I'm glad i didn't succumb to my mother hen feelings and try force either of them to come together earlier!

Status : Married

Well i never did believe that i would actually be married in this lifetime, you may ask why or you may think oh here's another wannabe trying to prove god knows what! Hmmm, it may seem really ho hum but my reason not to really marry was the fact that not one marriage has lasted in my family (my mother's side mostly). My parents separated, my grand parents were separated, my mum's brother divorced (not once but twice), another uncle never married and my aunt (mum's sister) remained married to an asshole just so she could bring up her son. She eventually died when she wasn't even 40 and i completely hold her husband responsible for her death! I shall leave that for another post!

To tell you the truth the only reason i think i am married is because I'm married to my husband, funny sentence eh, well what I'm trying to say is if it were any other guy i dint think i would've married. I'm married to someone who just lets me be (and i can be quite a pain to live with honestly, more on this too in a later post) it may seem like a simple thing but can you imagine living with someone with whom you can just be yourself with 24/7?? I know i can and I'm sure there are fortunate people like me out there, at the same time i also know that there are more unfortunate people who can't be themselves with the so called people they love or are married to. I'm just glad I'm not one of em!

I don't have to worry about farting in bed or waking up next to him with bad breath or brush my teeth (in the same loo) while he empties his bladder! :)

I love you PWF and I'm glad you're my husband!

And i'm back

Its been more than a year since i last updated my blog, its not that I've run out of things to write about but just that I've been busy being lazy if you get my drift! I have so many threads(thoughts, ideas, plans, complaints blah blah blah) going on simultaneously in my head that i finally decided to do something about it and what better way to do it than blog it all out eh :)

Happy = No posts

I haven't been able to post anything in the recent past simply because I've been happy! Surprised eh, well what i mean is i haven't had any creative juices flowing to write anything and i also do believe that creativity feeds off of misery and i haven't been miserable enough. But I'm an optimist so I've decided to keep that aside and dig deep into my heart and pull out all the pain that once kept me so alive. To be honest i miss the pain, i really do.

The struggling's a thing of the past
And sometimes I miss the pain
That pain is the evidence I'm fighting for a cause - Much the same, Miss the pain

Love or something like it

I think I'm still in love but what i have been able to understand or make peace with is i don't fight it anymore, its a futile attempt i tell ya when you try fighting it.

I'm not an idealist as much as in I'm a realist now. I would like my heaven but i think I'll survive, more than survive actually. I told him yesterday that i would like my heaven but that may not include him and it was then that i realised i had moved on. I don't feel restricted by love anymore. Think about it, love restricts you in many ways,love will also tear and rip you apart, it could kill you too! But ofcourse if you're lucky love can love also put you and your life back together :)

I wonder if i still can ever have or find that kind of love, but what i also know is ive stopped looking, finally! And its a relief i tell you.

Golden days come and go, there is one thing i know,

I've still got the blues for you - Garry Moore.

Thinking aloud

Have you ever wondered if anything is absolute anymore. Is there a right and wrong, good and bad, truth and lies or are we simply left to use our imagination, interpretation... We make our rights and wrongs, our truths and lies and most times we are forced to manipulate the truth or transform it simply because we're often faced with things that are not of our own making.